ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
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