didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I FOUND THE LEGS
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Dear god my vagina.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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