I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
