mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
