found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
