Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
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