Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize