do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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