Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Screwed.edu
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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