your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
