Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
