I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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