This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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