Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
