I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
