I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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