dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
