K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
