I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
