Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Randomize
