there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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