Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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