just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
