oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Please don't give away my fajitas
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