***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Someone shit on the floor
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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