So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
