You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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