So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
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