So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
