yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
If that was your dad, he is hot
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
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