There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I think we might need a safe word for this...
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
