Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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