Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
