we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Randomize
