She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
