I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
