Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
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