I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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