So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
