but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
