this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
