He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
