Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
