shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
