Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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