I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
