I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
You are the jesus of drinking
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
