First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
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