I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Randomize
