in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
did i just pee glitter
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Randomize
