I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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