What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Randomize
