so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
